Monday, April 28, 2008

Home alone (almost)

Hello everyone,

It's good to be with you again, sharing our lives with all our friends and the world at large. I told my Sunday School class today that writing a blog takes the place of writing in my own personal journal, which is actually a weak attempt at self-righteous rationalization when I am, in fact, not writing in my journal. But due to the fact that this blog will forever be available on the world wide web so long as all of Google's servers don't crash simultaneously or we decide to unplug ourselves digitally in the future due to the dominance of robots and / or artificial intelligence computers taking over the world, I think I'm at least making a dent in the chronicling of our family life. Let's all keep hoping that Google rules the future world rather than robots, and it should all work out just fine.

So, another eventful week in Washington. Daniel lost his second tooth. He officially looks like a jack-o-lantern and we're hoping that he gets his bottom two teeth in before corn on the cob season. Can you imagine trying to eat corn on the cob with no bottom teeth? The cob would just keep spinning endlessly in your hands as the two top teeth consistently pushed it downwards. What a sick, twisted, cruel joke that the human body would play on itself - to instill that incessant craving for sweet, delectable, corny goodness and not have the ability to sate that need. Madness, I say. MADNESS!!!! Then again, I guess we can sever the corn off the cob. But it's the principle of the matter! Man should not live by cut niblets alone.

Madeline gets to be Mommy's little girl this week and gets to be more spoiled (if that's possible) by taking a trip with Mom to Utah. She got to ride on an airplane, which I heard went pretty well except for the last ten minutes where she decided that she had sat buckled up long enough and proceeded to have a tantrum and cause a gigantic scene on the plane. Thanks to fantastic breeding on our part, she doesn't look at all like an al Qaeda operative (plus the fact that she looks like she's 3) and they didn't have to call in the on-board US marshals to take over the situation and wrestle her to the ground. Frankly, I think she would have given them a run for their money.

Kim gets to spend a week taking care of someone else's children as she watches the Kingsford's kids while Taryn has her operation. It will be interesting to see whether Kim comes back saying Michele's kids are a breeze compared to ours or vice versa. I'll let you know what the verdict is when she gets back. I think she's just happy she won't have to do the spring cleaning while she's there. Michele reminds me a lot of Monica on Friends, and I don't think anyone could live up to the standards placed there. We have our own thoughts about spring cleaning at the Welling house. The rule is - if there isn't enough dirt for anything to grow in it yet, we're just helping to keep the dust mites alive. Just one of those "circle of life" kind of things. We're just doing our part.

Everett and Daniel have entered the stage of incessant whining. Their favorite line is: "It's too hard" or "It's too boring". These lines seem to come up anytime their parents ask anything of them, like "can you please go clean your room", or "will you please go brush your teeth", or "will you please find it in your heart to stop whining for 10 minutes so your mother and I can have an intelligent conversation without the constant droning, the fake crying, the flailing of arms, and the annoying running in place that regularly accompanies this incessant boo-hooing that seems to only occur when you're not sleeping, for the love all that is SACRED AND HOLY!" Okay, I've never actually said that last sentence, but I'm pretty sure I'd get the same response. Everett and Daniel are staying with Grandma and Grandpa Borders this weekend, then will be passed back and forth between aunts and uncles until Kim comes home on Friday. I wish them all the best of luck!

That leaves Gabriela and Aaron. We're having a fantastic daddy-daughter week with just the two of us. Friday night, after Kim and kids left, we went to the store and bought snacks, then rented TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, for those of you who are acronymistically challenged) and went home and pigged out on junk food. Gabriela got Whoppers (the chocolate kind, not from BK) and I bought the new A&W Rootbeer Float beverages. Note to those of you who are curious - it tastes just like rootbeer that has melted ice cream in it. I really wasn't that impressed, especially for the price of a 4-pack. Gabriela agreed with me. Anyway, Gabriela woke up the next morning and decided to eat the remainder of the Whoppers, then complained about a stomach ache the rest of the morning. While she nursed her stomach (spelled s-t-u-p-i-d-i-t-y), I worked on the yard. In the afternoon we went and bought some flowers and the start of our garden. We now have watermelon, pumpkins, cucumbers, zucchinis, tomatoes, and a sunflower planted and we're hoping that they all grow. We've also got some strawberries that we planted a few weeks back that look amazing. I'm really excited about the garden - I think it will be our first since we've been married. Can you say - slacker? Hopefully something grows and we'll be reaping what we've sown all summer long.

So, that's about it. It took two days to write, but it's done. And that's two weeks in a row. Ha!

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Under Promise, Over Deliver

Well, apparently this is becoming more of a monthly post rather than a weekly post. And I can't blame the lack of posts on the lack of good writing material. Have I got some elaborate stories that I could tell involving turkey basters, dry ice, and Philippine immigrants? Technically, no but that's beside the point. What I can tell you is that it's been an event-filled March and April, filled with fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, escape, true love, and miracles. Mostly that's because I finished reading The Princess Bride (S. Morgenstern is a literary genius, just so everyone knows). So, without further adieu, the news.

Let's see, I'm going to start with the present and work backwards. Kim got a new calling today - she's no longer going to be leading the music in sacrament meeting and flashing me knowing grins as I struggle to contain four children without someone running half-crazed up and down the aisles screaming, shouting, and giggling like a goofy idiot. And when I say someone, I mean me. And what is the new responsibility? MIA Maid advisor. Kim's pretty jazzed since, during our near 11 years of marriage she has always been in the Primary. How will she be able to deal with 14-15 year old girls, of which our ward has about 14-15? It should be interesting to watch.

Kim was brushing Daniel's teeth on Monday and as she was doing so, she noticed that he had 2 loose teeth, which is kind of disconcerting since he's only 4 and won't be 5 for another 4 months. In reviewing his day, Kim recognized that he probably knocked them loose on the neighbors' swing that day. So, after much boo-hooing from Daniel (he tends to freak out and get melodramatic at the drop of a hat) Gabriela informed him that losing teeth equates to money from the tooth fairy. At that point, Daniel recognized the fortuitous circumstances that a loose tooth at this age presented. He lost one tooth on Friday and the tooth fairy brought him a whole dollar. We're hoping that compensates for the big hole in his smile that he's going to have for a little while, although we hope his mouth recognizes the hole and overcompensates with a growth spurt in his periodontal region.

On to Everett and the battle with bowel movements. We're feeding Everett FiberOne bars and fiber-enriched apple juice on a daily basis. It's helping out a little bit, but for some reason I think Everett still likes either the attention from his parents or the exhilerating sensation of poop between his buttocks. It's highly frustrating, to say the least, and we're still trying to figure out the best way to get over this hurdle, which seems to be more like a 3-story building. In the meantime, we'll be plugging away with the daily fiber intake of an entire assisted living facility in the hopes that it will "move" Everett to "get it out" and finally get this problem "wiped out". I think I've run out of puns regarding pooping, so we'll move on to the next child.

Madeline, as opposed to Everett, has taken on the potty-training very well. She's got number 1 down and number 2 has been done successfully in the toilet a few times now, as well. We're extremely proud of her and pleased it has gone this well because, let's face it, if it had been as bad with Madeline as it has with Everett, Kim might have officially resigned as potty-trainer and we would have brought in either professional help or corks. I think corks would have been cheaper, so that would have been my vote. I think it worked out best for everyone.

Kim's taking off on Saturday to go to Salt Lake to help out Michele's family while Taryn has her operation. She'll be gone for about 8 days. We feel that the best thing we can do while she is gone is split up the entire family so everyone misses each other. So the plan is: Kim and Madeline in Salt Lake, Everett and Daniel in Spokane, and Aaron and Gabriela in Richland. Should prove to be an interesting week.

I'll probably have a lot to say next Sunday, since it will just be me and Gabriela through the weekend and all next week. I'm hoping she doesn't expect her hair to get done in ponytails or braids and that she's happy with eating minimally prepared food. I just don't hope I get reported for supplying her with graham crackers and sardines for school lunch. I might need to think that out a little bit better and plan next week with some actual meals.

That's it for the Welling update. Keep posted, though I won't be promising more frequent updates anymore: under promise and over deliver is the new motto for the blog. That being said, if I get anything more in here before Independence Day, you should all feel privileged. Until next time!